Watch TV

I'm gonna stay at home and watch TV
There's an entire world in store for me,
Sports and news, even comedy
I'm gonna stay at home and watch TV.

I got adult channels with hooter flicks,
And Discovery just for the mix,
Life is full of variety,
I'm gonna stay at home and watch TV


Reality? I know reality!
From 'Survivor' to 'Estoy Por Ti'
It was put there just for me to see,
I'm gonna stay at home and watch TV.


There's an entire world outside my door,
Global warming, nuclear war,
The apocalypse in full HD,
I'm gonna stay at home and watch TV.

Holy Bible II part IV

Noah and The Great Rain


This is the story of Noah.
Noah was a drinker of strong spirits.
He would have long, meaningful conversations with Nothing.
Nothing told him to build an ark.
And so he built an ark.
And the children of Man around him saw that he did toil on such a grand project and asked, "Say, Noah, what are you doing?"
And Noa answered, "Building an ark."
And the children of Man asked, "Why?"
And Noah Answered, "Oh, for Nothing."
This confused the children of Man so they asked, "Why would you want to go through so much trouble just for Nothing?"
By this time, Noah had had enough distractions so he simply said, "Listen. I spoke with Nothing and Nothing said to build this ark. Now, leave me be! I don't want to keep Nothing waiting..."
And the children of Man concluded, "So, you're doing this... for Nothing!?!"
And Noah answered, "Yep..."
And the children of Man didn't understand what all this strange talk was about and so (as children of men do) they made fun of Noah...
"Noah! Come, do my housework for me! I'll give you Nothing..."
"Hey! Noah! What's the matter with you? Oh, right, Nothing's the matter with you..."
"Keep working hard there, Noah. There's Nothing in it for you..."
And so on...
And Nothing told Noah that they shall pay for their wickedness for Nothing had a plan.
And Noah explained to his wife how the wicked children of Man did torment him and that Nothing had a plan for all these wicked doers.
Noah's wife had noticed that he'd been drinking again.
And Noah's wife whom had bore him three sons had Nothing at all to say to him about it.
In fact, she had Nothing to say to him quite often.

And so one night, the Great Rain did come.
And it rained so hard that the children of Man could see Nothing.
On that night, under the cover of Nothing, Noah went around and collected two of each animal of all the wicked children of Man and placed them in his ark.
And the Great Rain continued.
And so Noah went to collect his wife and sons and Noah said to his wife, "Come quick! We have done it! We have two of all the animals of all those wicked people in the ark. We must be off now, quickly, get the children!"
"What are you talking about Noah?, " asked Noah's wife, " Who told you to take the animals?"
And Noah answered, "Nothing but never mind that, now get the boys and come quick!"
And Noah's wife was so infuriated that she could say Nothing to him but then,figuring that she would have to reckon with the children of Man for her husband's action, went along taking the children with her.
And so the ark went into the water and floated away, leaving the wicked children of Man in the Great Rain.

And eventually the Great Rain came to an end.
And upon landing in dry land, Noah opened the doors to the ark to let the animals out.
And Noah looked up and behold!
There was the sight he'd been waiting for:
A sign!
And Noah brought out his wife and said, "See there!"
And Noah's wife said, "What is it Noah?"
And Noah said, "Don't you see it?! It's a sign!"
And Noah's wife said "It's a rainbow Noah!", and she said Nothing to him ever again for Noah had lost himself to strong spirits for the rest of this days.

Disco Slammer

Feel good,
That's what the cash is for,
In the jar, on the fridge,
But only for emergencies,
Take a peak,
There's just enough to go around,
Time to get up,
Time to get down,
So dress to kill...

They don't call me "Disco Slammer" for nothing,
I'm needed there,
Cause I make them dance like they have not a care.
They won't know what the party is like till I get them down on the dance floor.

Living like a pauper but I'm loving like a king,
Lay you down those rhythms, entice you to shake that thing,
So get up and dance and get yourself feeling grand,
Make your way back into Wonderland.

They don't call me "Disco Slammer" for nothing...

Bite Me

Doesn't listen to her mother but she'll do what Daddy wants,
How convenient I've been drinking apple juice,
And she wants something warm and Fuzzy inside her,
Not to mention all those gadgets that are buzzing beside her,
And she claims to be a good girl,
But hey, that's no excuse.

Bite me.
Excite me.
Throw me in between the sheets and fight me.
Instruct me.
Conduct me.
And if you're still not satisfied then destruct me.

I got a shredded back and carpet burns,
And my arms and chest and shoulders ache,
And even thought I'm sore,
All I want is more,
'Cause I don't give a damn if I'm about to break.

And you're not a good girl if you don't,
Or a bad girl if you do,
Besides,
Good girls need to be bad too...

Holy Bible II part V

The Tower of Babylon

And so it came to pass that the Children of Man rejected Nothing and wanted the return of Everything.
And neither Something nor Something-Else was enough.
The Children of Man wanted More.
And there was More.
And the Children of Man set out to accumulate More until they would have Everything again, for More was the obvious path to Everything.
And they built a city with a great tower as a token of just how much More they had.
And they would build this tower up past the sky and the sun and the moon and the stars, straight into the vast Nothing.
But before the tower could reach the stars or the moon or the sun or even the sky, it grew so high that it could no longer support it's own weight and fell, crumbling to the ground.
And the Children of Man felt like they had Nothing again.
And they were angry!
For the last thing anybody ever wanted was Nothing.
Certainly not if they could have More.
And they set out once again to accumulate More, stealing from each other and fighting over who has More and who hasn't.

Holy Bible II, part III

Caine & Abel

And so it came to pass that Adam entered Eve and she begot a child, a man son well protruding hence was he named Caine.
Again did Adam know his wife and once more did Eve conceive a man son.
This child, much loved by his mother yet, misunderstood of his father did they name Abel.
Such were the wanton childhood years for the first borne of Eve and Adam and his brother for Caine did often love his brother in great measure.
As the years progressed, Caine became a worker of the ground and a raiser of crops for he knew to plant many a seed.
But Abel who knew only frolic did grow sheep.
So Abel left his brother who loved him so often to be with his sheep.
And upon his return, Caine spoke with Abel and took him to the field.
Caine slew his brother Abel.

Caine no longer had Nothing.
Something was within him and he named it 'jealousy'.
Yet Something-Else was within him, this he called 'self loathing'.
And Caine did what he considered to be the right thing and he went away and took onto himself a wife and she bore him children.


Song of Caine

Am I my brother's keeper?
Nothing can judge
Else it walks in my shoes
How might I live?
When I am betrayed
Am I not in waking death?
I toil for You
I toil for Nothing
When I plant a seed
I ask not for fruit
Only for the satisfaction of the seed well sown
But when my brother is not within me
I close my eyes from tears
I close my eyes and envision you
There in the darkness
You were with the multitude.

Holy Bible II, parts I & II

Creation's Just A Game Of Words

In the beginning there was Nothing.
But Nothing eventually got bored.
And Nothing said, "Let there be Something",
And there was Something.
But Something was very intense and gave Nothing a headache, so Nothing said, "Let there be Time so as to separate Something into intervals, this way I may have peace again.
And there was Time.
And Time flowed in and out of Something creating intervals that calmed Nothing.
These intervals shocked Something to a point that Something had to change.
Something-Else had to happen.
And there was Something-Else.
And Something rivaled Something-Else and they fought.
Long and dirty.
And Nothing broke up the fight.
And Time flowed by as Nothing was breaking up the fight between Something and Something-Else.
Something got it's lights knocked out.
And there was light.
Something-Else had to rival light.
And there was darkness.
And Nothing called them Evening and Morning as Time flowed by.
And there was Evening and Morning upon the first day.

This is how Everything was created.
Something fighting Something-Else and Nothing in between.


Temptation of Man & Eve

Man was part of Everything.
Being of Everything, Man was both of Something and of Something-Else.
Or in other words, Man was of Nothing.
And Man was alone with Everything and bored and well, horny.
And there was Eve.
Eve too was of Everything, Something, Something-Else and therefore, Nothing.

And Nothing spoke to Man.
And Man heard Something, hearing, "All may you eat of all trees of the land and the beasts that roam upon it and the fowl of the air and the fish of the sea. All but of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil for it will confuse you and you shall have Something with no intervals of Time and you shall have a vast headache and no bliss, trust me, you don't need that."
But Something-Else was imprinted in Man head.
And Man relayed this message to Eve saying, "All who eat of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil shall DIE!"
Now at this Time, both Man and Eve had Nothing.
Nothing was strong within them and Everything all around.

One day, Eve went walking by The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil when behold, the serpent came upon her saying, "Eve, take eat of this fruit", for the serpent had eaten from it and was now confused.
And Eve said, "No! For whomever shall eat of this forbidden fruit shall DIE!!!"
This confused the serpent and it had such an identity crisis that it's appendages withered away. And it asked, "But I ate of it... Do you see me dead?"
And Eve felt stupid and said, "Um, well, no..."
And then Eve said, "Yes but..."
And Eve took and ate of The Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
And Man saw Eve and the serpent giggling at their own confusion and Man said, "What's so funny? Hey, did you...? Oh no! You've eaten of the fruit of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil!"
And Eve said, "Look how sexy the serpent looks after it has eaten this fruit. Won't you have fruit with us?"
And Man ate of the fruit.

Nothing had changed.
Nothing was the same.
Man wanted Something and Eve wanted Something.
And Man wanted Something-Else.
But Eve wanted Something-Else as well.
And there was confusion as to what Something and what Something-Else was but they both agreed that Something was better than Nothing.
Along the way, Everything was lost.