Holy Bible II, parts I & II

Creation's Just A Game Of Words

In the beginning there was Nothing.
But Nothing eventually got bored.
And Nothing said, "Let there be Something",
And there was Something.
But Something was very intense and gave Nothing a headache, so Nothing said, "Let there be Time so as to separate Something into intervals, this way I may have peace again.
And there was Time.
And Time flowed in and out of Something creating intervals that calmed Nothing.
These intervals shocked Something to a point that Something had to change.
Something-Else had to happen.
And there was Something-Else.
And Something rivaled Something-Else and they fought.
Long and dirty.
And Nothing broke up the fight.
And Time flowed by as Nothing was breaking up the fight between Something and Something-Else.
Something got it's lights knocked out.
And there was light.
Something-Else had to rival light.
And there was darkness.
And Nothing called them Evening and Morning as Time flowed by.
And there was Evening and Morning upon the first day.

This is how Everything was created.
Something fighting Something-Else and Nothing in between.


Temptation of Man & Eve

Man was part of Everything.
Being of Everything, Man was both of Something and of Something-Else.
Or in other words, Man was of Nothing.
And Man was alone with Everything and bored and well, horny.
And there was Eve.
Eve too was of Everything, Something, Something-Else and therefore, Nothing.

And Nothing spoke to Man.
And Man heard Something, hearing, "All may you eat of all trees of the land and the beasts that roam upon it and the fowl of the air and the fish of the sea. All but of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil for it will confuse you and you shall have Something with no intervals of Time and you shall have a vast headache and no bliss, trust me, you don't need that."
But Something-Else was imprinted in Man head.
And Man relayed this message to Eve saying, "All who eat of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil shall DIE!"
Now at this Time, both Man and Eve had Nothing.
Nothing was strong within them and Everything all around.

One day, Eve went walking by The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil when behold, the serpent came upon her saying, "Eve, take eat of this fruit", for the serpent had eaten from it and was now confused.
And Eve said, "No! For whomever shall eat of this forbidden fruit shall DIE!!!"
This confused the serpent and it had such an identity crisis that it's appendages withered away. And it asked, "But I ate of it... Do you see me dead?"
And Eve felt stupid and said, "Um, well, no..."
And then Eve said, "Yes but..."
And Eve took and ate of The Fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
And Man saw Eve and the serpent giggling at their own confusion and Man said, "What's so funny? Hey, did you...? Oh no! You've eaten of the fruit of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil!"
And Eve said, "Look how sexy the serpent looks after it has eaten this fruit. Won't you have fruit with us?"
And Man ate of the fruit.

Nothing had changed.
Nothing was the same.
Man wanted Something and Eve wanted Something.
And Man wanted Something-Else.
But Eve wanted Something-Else as well.
And there was confusion as to what Something and what Something-Else was but they both agreed that Something was better than Nothing.
Along the way, Everything was lost.